Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

var monkey = new CodeMonkey(self),
	monkey.workload = unix_timestamp(),
	bananas = new Reward(world_domination | maybe_less);
while (!bananas.arrived() && !monkey.bananas) {
	monkey.eat().code().sleep(1 - monkey.workload);
	--monkey.workload += random();
	monkey.tolerance = 1 / monkey.workload;
	monkey.bananas = monkey.workload > monkey.brain * monkey.tolerance;
}